Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I'm Living in the 80's

what's your policy on rebounds? how long do you think it should take from one relationship to the next, and why?


In truth, this is a very hard question to answer. It depends on person to person really. If your urge is to screw the next person you see, then there it is. But really, you've got to ask yourself: is it for the best? Probably not. And if you ever hope to reconcile: JUST SAY NO. Even if that person loves you, something will be tainted about you if they find out that you screwed someone the night after you guys broke up.

But, on the other hand, if you never want to see your ex again? just depends. Figure out what you want. If you want a one night stand, remember the consequences. If you want a new relationship, remember your dirty laundry still hasn't been washed (most likely, anyway).

Why do so many people idolize the "white trash", "redneck", or "ghetto" lifestyle that is see in popular culture? They originally started out as derogatory terms, and now it's a mark of pride. Why is it so cool to be trashy?


In my opinion, it has something to do with being tough. Both cultures have tribal tendencies. You're in with a herd. And it makes you feel tough. And acting that way makes you feel tough too. Also, believe it or not, some people really find acting in those manners/dressing in those ways attractive. Why, I can't say. I think it's just like a learned mannerism.

Also, they've done studies that say the females in those demographics are targeted by tobacco companies, because they're allegedly stupid. Now, girls should ask themselves...if you're targeted because you're believed to be stupid...try to do something positive. Everyone's entitled to certain tastes. You can be country or ethnic without being trashy. People do it all the time. But really, I think the trashy ones just do it to be cool/tough.

That's my opinion anwyays.

why are spongues more amazing than Ashe?


They're not. Whoever said they were was an outright liar and I will call them one to their face. Dammit.

When will this 80s revival end? I'm sick of big hair, neon shirts, and plastic jewelry.


Whilst I think it's a noble fashion effort to pay homage to your birth decade, you can very well go too far. Hence Heidi Montag's (I barely know who she is, but I've watched it) music video. Barf. That is pretty much as far as you can take it before someone rips your spiked heels of your feet and stabs you in the eyes with them.

Dear Pocahontas,

Last night, I had a dream that I was an apple and someone was eating me. What's your take on this?

-Persian Al

It's obviously sexually related. Apples signify the forbidden. Did you wake up all wet this morning?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Geek Girls Make Me Quiver (in the good way)

Where do geek girls get all the awesome from? We suspect it's a secret store for pretty girls who aren't stupid.

-Ashe and Laika

Pocahontas can say with all honesty that you boys need to watch more Coupling. If you did, you'd know without a doubt that all women belong to a vast worldwide sisterhood. You would know that there are never more than ten pairs of pantyhose at any given time and that we swap them back and forth for work meetings and kinky nights in (we wash them, of course).

That being said, think of awesome geek girls as a guild within the worldwide sisterhood. They have their resources. It may not be an actual store, but boy do that hey have their resources. And that's really all I can say without being lynched (it is the ultimate dishonor to betray secrets of the Sisterhood).


Why do skanky chicks with "big boobs" use the excuse "I have big boobs" when someone calls them on taking vertical, cleavage enhancing pics? Inquiring minds want to know.


True Story: Pocahontas herself is well-endowed. Thus, being well-endowed, she sometimes shows a positively mortifying amount of cleavage in pictures that she didn't know was present until after she sees them. Now, these skanky big-boobed chicks could be innocent like Pocahontas...or they could be well aware of the fact that the vertical angle is advantageous for cleavage spotting.

After all, every woman has her own opinion of what her best assets are. Women with large boobs tend to (but not always) fall into two categories: those who think their tits are their best asset, and those who think they are their worst. If there are a ton of pics like this, then it's safe to say she is in the former category.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Relationships and Fruit


OK How is the best way to break up with a girl? Say you like her and you want to stay friends but you don't want to hurt her and you aren't feelin' it anymore?

- Confused in Minnesota


Pocahontas would first ask the asker to look inside himself or herself and think for a moment. Is this what you really want? Think long and hard, because there's never any going back. If you have decided it is what you really must do, then it can (and should) be done.

Step one, initiate the conversation. If she is not expecting it, you will have to be the one to bring up the topic. Be kind, but firm. If she is not expecting it, chances are, she doesn't want it to happen. But if it's what you gotta do, stand your ground. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you want to be her friend. And if you're lucky, she will let you.

Pocahontas can't honestly say what will become of the situation, but it is best to tell her up front exactly what the problems are, why you think it's best, and your hopes for the future. Don't give her an inch. If it's over, it's over. And if you want to be her friend, there can be no breakup sex. Just because you can separate friend sex from boyfriend/girlfriend sex doesn't mean she can. After all, she's emotionally vulnerable, being the one who was just dumped.

So, if you want to be her friend. Be her friend. Pocahontas can say there will be crying, but if it's for the best, then so be it.


Dear Pocahontas,

Last night, I had a dream that I was an apple and someone was eating me. What's your take on this?

-The Dreamer


Pocahontas would be curious herself as to why you would dream you are such a forbidden fruit. Are you forbidden? Or do you think you are? And who was eating you? That is the question. Maybe you are temping someone and only know it on a subconscious level. Pocahontas knows things. Trust in her mystical powers of dream persuasion interpretation. mwahahahahaha!

Disclaimer: Pocahontas and any entities associated with the name or whatever do not claim to be authorities on dream persuasion interpretation.

On a side note, dreaming you're food doesn't necessarily mean you're weird.


My boyfriend keeps telling me he'll call and he never does. Why is that?

-An Angry Girlfriend


Pocahontas hates to state the obvious, but she wonders: is he your real boyfriend or is he just your boyfriend. If he is really your boyfriend and acknowledges such, then all Pocahontas can say on the subject is this: he's a man. If you stopped calling him, he'd probably call you.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Almost a Year Now

Since I last updated. That's why I'm updating.

This question comes from Ashe:



In general, one asks this question often. "Why?" is a question that is so basic, it comes as a gut reaction for most people. You find out you've been selected for an audit, your reply is: "Why?". Or perhaps you've found out that the sky has become a lovely green color, you would almost always ask: "Why?" (if you were going to ask anything, which under the circumstances, you probably wouldn't).

Sometimes it's a rhetorical question -- the answer is already known and doesn't need to be said.

But in answer to the aforementioned question: "Because."

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Dear Pocahontas,

What came first? The chicken or the egg? - Ryan

This question confuses a lot of people, but I have a very simple answer: single-celled organisms. Yes, I'm speaking of evolution, my friends. And what was between single-celled organsims and the chickens we know today had to have looked pretty damn weird and I can't really explain it, but yeah: single-celled organisms. They developed into proto-chickens, if you will, which began to lay eggs. This is just what I imagine happened. I'm not a scientist, but it's close enough.

Why are so many girls complete frelling idiots? - Travis

I've often asked myself this question. And I've come up with a lot of answers:

1. Enhanced verbal skills makes them more likely to gossip. Gossiping equals instant idiocy.

2. Many of them just wanna get laid, much like men. This also equals instant idiocy.

3. They have preconcieved notions of how they should act and usually those notions are misguided.

4. They travel in packs and each want to be the alpha wolf. This leads to backstabbing, which is helped along by the enhanced verbal skills.

5. A lot of them want to play games. Many of us have evolved beyond this, but still, game players are still out there in droves. Just stay clear of that sort.

6. Too much hairspray. Not only does it deplete the ozone layer, but I believe it also depletes brain alcohol or rap. Most of their beauty products just aren't good for bleach or acrylic nails.

7. Many -- though not all -- are manipulative by nature. This goes alogn with the game playing. Steer clear!

8. Some like to see boys cry. It's like a fetish. You are their prey; get used to it.

9. A lot of them are full of themselves.

10. They know how males think and use it against them -- it's their biggest weapon.

There's more answers, but that covers the gist. I'm probably being kicked out of the womanly sisterhood as I type this now, but I reckoned you all needed to know, if you didn't already. See? We're not all bad.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


Will Sheppard end up with Dr.Weir? lol. - The Brando Lover

I've always thought so. I mean, Ronon seemed to think that Sheppard might get with Teyla in a reason episode, but I think that's just because Ronon likes Teyla and wanted to see whether Sheppard did or not.

So yeah, whenever the show began...a lot of people were probably all like "Sheppard/Teyla! OMG!!"...but I never really saw it. It's always been Sheppard/Weir for me. It's obvious they've got the hots for each other.